There are billions of stars, millions of planets, but there is only one man, Terrance McDoogal. Welcome to LIU Atlas.
About this creation
LIU Atlas - Numen
The Ludgonian Industrial Union's galaxy contains billions of stars and billions of planets. Unfortunately, most residents of the LIU could only name a handful of these worlds. In order to improve astronomy grades across the LIU, TV2 has started a new program called LIU Atlas. Follow our host, Terrance McDoogal, as he takes you on a tour across the LIU and some of its more obscure worlds.
Note: This episode is presented in full screen. The corresponding dialogue is underneath each photo.
Doog: "Welcome to another special edition episode of LIU Atlas. While in route to our next destination, Lacunar Urbs, we passed this small planet known as Numen and decided to make an impromptu stop. As you can see, Numen's entire surface is covered with a huge tar sea with exception of one solitary pinnacle of rock. This pinnacle, known as the Great Spire of Pix, holds the LIU's only church, St. Money."
Doog: "St. Money is the only church in the entire LIU galaxy. It was created approximately five hundred years ago, when, strangely enough, the Universal Tax Association began allowing corporations to write off donations to churches. Every year since then, the LIU has donated half of its profits to the church. This donated money is used to pay St. Money's priests and staff, who just so happen to be Emperor Ludgonious and the LIU Governors. Many believe St. Money was created solely as a tax haven for the LIU, but it does have several followers."
Doog: "St. Money is dedicated to the new religion sweeping the universe, Consumerism. Its prophet is the almighty monetary credit."
Doog: "Today, I will be joined with Consumerist Expert Levid Natas."
Doog: "Whoa! Holy Kaadu! Where did you come from?"
Natas: "I've been here all along Doog. Muhahaha!"
Doog: "Err...OK, whatever you say. So what can you tell us about Consumerism? Why would you want to worship money?"
Natas: "Why not? Money gives people all the false hope and happiness that any other religion does. Unlike prayer, money can get you anything you ever wanted, if you have enough of it. Money never makes false promises, never tells you how to live, or never makes you miss Sunday morning Cyborg Racing."
Doog: "Hmmm, true. Let's move inside."
Doog: "We are now inside St. Money. Levid Natas, why is it so small inside here? I don't think more than five worshippers could fit in here at the same time."
Natas: "Doog! You don't go to church to worship if you are a Consumerist. You go to the store and buy useless things. If you can't make it to the store, you sit in front of some form of media and watch commercials telling you what you are missing. You use these commercials to motivate yourself to make more money, whether it be working harder, robbing, stealing, cheating, or murdering."
Doog: "Yeah alright. Look Natas, if your going to answer every question with some long rant, then I'm going to stop asking you questions. Got it?"
Natas: "Of course I got it Doog. I'm sorry, its just that the Consumerism gets me so worked up. Don't even get me started on the other organized religions. Those..."
Doog: "You're doing it again Natas."
Doog: "So, if people don't come here to worship, why do you need a church? And keep it short!"
Natas: "Well, honestly, we just needed a place for our donation box. No organized religion is complete without some form of a donation box. Also, on the right, we have the holy scriptures."
Doog: "Well thanks for joining us Levid Natas. I hope to see you again sometime."
Natas: "Don't worry Doog, you will! Muhahaha!"
Doog: "Well folks, thanks for joining us on this special edition episode of LIU Atlas."
Note: A galaxy wide poll of the religions of the LIU citizens indicated the following religious breakdown: Athiest/Agnostic: 60%
Phipsonites: > .0000000000000000000000000000000001 %
Haha, very funny, again. Or, as usual! Beautyful church with nice windows. The only thing I´m missing is a golden calf for to dance around, or better a golden statue of the emperor himself. And why are there no undead non believers that were thrown into the tar? ;-P I´m not complaining here, these thoughts just popped into my mind! Long live the LIU!!
That's a pretty neat idea, Emperor. I'm surprised your people haven't started depositing the world's tar and making some ingenious fuel out of it yet. Also, is the name Levid a deliberate anagram for "devil"?
Doog is a consumer, er consumate professional journalism with a nose for the news citizens of the LIU need to know. Knowing where to send your money is very important, particularly to the folks who keep their hands in the collection box -- what I mean is, those kind souls who do good works with what they take -- ummmm, that is to say the stalwart individuals who help others with our money. Wait a minute, that sounds like the government.
> .000001 %? Well sure, but in a population of billions upon billions and even a few more billions, we're still talking at LEAST... what 3 or 4 people? I can live with that! Now then, back to writing my scriptures. Thou shalt not buy mega blocks. Thou shalt not sharpie your clones. Thou shall let me covet your wife... and so on and so forth... ~ Chris.
Quoting President Jackson
It's alright, but it was too short. We never saw Emperor Ludgonious, and there was only one room.
It is shorther than the other LIU Atlas episodes if that's what you mean. That's why it's an impromptu special edition episode. The longer full length episode is still in progress, and it is much, much, much longer. As for ever seeing Emperor Ludgonious himself, don't hold your breath. He is way too rich, powerful, and cool to ever be in the presence of Doog.
It's alright, but it was too short. We never saw Emperor Ludgonious, and there was only one room. Then again, I might be wrong, the church could only be that one room. I'd like to see more LIU Atlas stories. You should make one where Doog gets to meet Emperor Ludgonious face-to-face, that would be pretty cool.