Another parody! California Cal discovers an important secret lies in the last cubicle...
About this creation
Once again, prepare yourself for some office humor, Wes-style! It’s now the fourth round of Shannon Young’s Mob Rules contest. My group’s category is, “Corporate Raiders.”
Cal: Welcome to Hansar Corporation, supplier of satellite technology to the world’s third-rate governments. My name’s California Calvin, but you can just call me Cal. Everyone else does. You’re just in time for one of the boss’s torture sessions, nominally referred to as “meetings.”
Cal: Next to me is the closest thing I have to a wingman here. I call him Leon, ‘cuz that’s his name. Say hey to the people, Leon.
Boss: Ok, people, we’ve got to come up with a new idea. None of the teams are making progress with the DU-ME protocol. I need results, people! Blah, blah, blah…Hey! Who tampered with my notes? Ok, people…
Cal: We’re safe to tune that out for now. Let’s see what the office crowd is up to. Looks like TedHead had another bad hair day. And Messy Bessie is licking her donut crumbs off the table.
Cal: Oh, Sam Speaks is talking to himself again. Let’s listen in…
Sam: mmm…ahh…finally figured it out…got to tell everyone…this will change everything…pickles, yessir, but hold the mayo…ahhh…mmm
Cal: What a dork! Wait, I wonder what he figured out? Could it be crazy Sam Speaks solved the DU-ME protocol problem?
Leon: Oh, yeah. He’s like some kind of insane genius or something.
Cal: Alright. Meet me by the elevator after the meeting.
Cal: We have to raid Sam’s cubicle and swipe his computer memory. As soon as he steps out, we’re going.
Leon: Oh, so like, we should go. ‘Cuz he’s heading for the john or something
Cal: This is going to be so easy.
Leon: Huh-huh. Yeah.
TedHead: Hey, me and the guys are going to toast marshmallows after work today. We got all these really sharp sticks! Do you want to come?
Cal: Maybe another time, TedHe…Ted. Ok?
TedHead: Okay, see-ya!
Cal: Wow, that was close. Oh, man! Look out!
Leon: What the stinkin’ monkey is that?
Cal: Messy Bessie must have spilled her coffee again.
Leon: I can’t jump that! I have shin splints! And expensive Italian loafers!
Cal: Easy, Leon. My computer mouse cord, please.
***Indiana Jones theme music plays over office intercom system***
Leon: Whatcha’ doin’, Cal?
Cal: Look carefully at these tiles, Leon. Flingin’ Fred has been busy today! His nasal nuggets have contaminated this whole passageway. We’ll have to avoid the slippery ones.
Cal: Here we are at Sam’s cubicle.
Leon: Be careful, man. Sam probably has like a bunch of security stuff on there. You try to take that memory stick, and we’re like toast, man.
Cal: Watch this, Leon.
***intense video game music is heard from the neighboring cubicle as Cal quickly switches memory sticks***
Leon: Dude, you totally set off his alarm. You know that will activate his pager, right?
Cal: Throw me the mouse cord!
Leon: Throw me the memory stick!
Leon: Hasta la vista, Dr. Cal!
Cal: Doctor? Since when? Oh well!
***a triumphant ringtone erupts on Bessie’s cell phone***
Cal: Sorry, Leon. Looks like Fred is going to Ted’s party.
Sam: Cal! Prepare to die. You are no match for my 15-pound championship-winning bowling ball!
Cal: My pens!
***elevator music is disappointingly anticlimactic at this point***
Cal: Now, to see what’s on this baby!
Cal: Hmm, just one file. Let’s see…the big secret is…How many licks to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop? 743!!!! Tootsie Pops! I hate Tootsie Pops!
Notes: The inspiration here came from my brother, Chris. He did actually find out how many licks it takes to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop.
Thanks: First and foremost, thanks to God, who generously has given me a wonderful wife and three adorable children. Thanks most of all for Jesus, whose sacrifice is still changing and saving lives today.
Last, thanks to my wife. She does whatever I want. Take, for example, these pictures. Instead of watching a movie like she wanted, she slaved over these photos for two hours with me. Thanks, sweetie. I don't deserve you.
Quoting Gray Smiley
Actually the number of licks is 2220 (my sister did it).
Wow! She must have a lot of patience. We seem to all be getting differnent numbers. There must be a number of factors here, including differences in candy thickness, relative position of the tootsie center, and of course, salivatory response. Thanks for weighing in.
Quoting Nathan B
Hmmm 743 licks? I will have to see if you are right. :P
Yes, come back and let me know when you've done that. I should set the record straight, however. I contacted Chris Pitter, and he informed me that the number was actually 401 from the side, at the thickest part.
Great sets with strong detail (the cubicle is well done, and the office is well organized) paired up with a wonderful parody makes this a winner in my book. Well, since I don't get a vote no one is going to read my book, but that's ok. I think you get the point. Give your wife a huge hug and kiss from all of us at MOCpages for taking such great photos!
I like it
Dave and John Xandegar
July 4, 2010
Wes, forget the humor! We want everyone to go back and look VERY closely at some of the build techniques Wes has utilized in this little presentation...Fabulous! Way too much to list, in fact. The details and backgrounds are top drawer and more-great job, Pal!
Wes I agree with all comments. The story line is humorous and the build is exceptional, but I would like to take a moment to give credit where credit is due. Your stories could never be told as well without the detailed eye of your talented photographer. I give her '5' Lego happy faces for her part in your success.
The cream certainly rises to the top! Funny, funny, funny! And the build...awesomeness. The coffee spill was my favorite little detail. Plus, while you certainly didn't stoop to Stu's level of low-brow, the 'nasal-nuggets' was a disgustingly nice touch.~H
Quite simply superb Wes. The builds are great, the ideas are very clever and as Jeff points out the humour is excellent without sinking to my level! I love the chart and the office floor with the coffee spill - both great examples of SNOT to achieve an effect.
Wes, that was just... AWSOME! Laughing throughout the entire thing and the builds and photo work (great job Mrs. Pitter) was superb! And I guess there goes my idea for an on going series about Dr. "Canada" Jones... I snooze, I loose. Amazing work sir! ~ Chris.