A Lego Transformers mini adventure starring Ramjet! Also featuring Chris Phipson as Trevor the toasted sandwich salesman...
About this creation
Somewhere in a lay-by off the A6....
"Another fine day at Trevor's Toasted Sandwich Emporium.
Business is booming! Oh, look, here comes some now..."
"I'd like to try something new today, please."
"Let's see, how about our Burberry King Prawn? Every toastie
guaranteed to contain genuine lint from Burberry jackets. Gives it that
edge of pretentiousness that marks a really discerning palate."
"Perfect! Just like mine. I'll take a large one."
"Do you want ketchup with that?"
"Sure, slap it on."
"Call this an Emporium? Looks more like a shed."
"What we save on overheads, sir, we spend on ingredients. We pride ourselves on making any sandwich our customers ask for."
"Is that so? Then I'll have a crocodile sandwich - and make it snappy!"
"Coming right up!"
"Two more satisfied customers. Time to shut up shop while I prepare the
"Yum! Crunchy king prawn!"
"I'm not sure I want to find out what's in this one."
"Gosh, what a racket! That jet's coming in low enough to land on top of us."
Indeed. But this is no ordinary jet....
...our top-hatted bystander can only watch in stunned amazement as it transforms into Ramjet, Decepticon warrior!
"Cower before me, human! I claim all charred bread products in this area for the glory of the Decepticons!"
"There must be something in the sandwich... I haven't had any hallucinations this vivid since I ate school dinners. I'm getting out of here!"
"Not so fast, Ramjet! This purveyor of human fuel packets is under Autobot protection! So swears Trailbreaker!"
"Foolish Autobot! How dare you defy me? I will simply blast you aside with one of my cluster missiles!"
"Sorry, did I forget to mention my almost impenetrable forcefield? A missile exploding that close to you must smart."
"Enough fooling around, 'con! It's time to come clean. Autobot intelligence knew you were coming, but why attack a toasted sandwich salesman?
"Your pathetic Autobot intelligence knows nothing of our true plans! Mighty Megatron has a devised a means to extract rarefied energon from the charred hydrocarbons and denatured proteins present in the substance the humans call 'toast'. I am the first Decepticon converted to use this new and awesome fuel source! I am a TOASTMASTER!"
"I'm sorry, I think I just got warped into some sort of strange movie continuity. You are pulling my leg, right?"
"I'm deadly serious, but while we're on the subject, you shouldn't have let me pull MY legs..."
"...to where I can blast you with my jet engines! Even your forcefield won't absorb this at point blank range!"
Thrown back by the blast, Trailbreaker is stunned long enough for Ramjet to regain his footing. But fate is about to intervene, in the form of a toast salesman named Trevor...
"Let's see now, tuna and banana; smoked hemp, cinnamon and marshmallow; ostrich puree with thyme; duck egg and blueberry; oh yes, and gooseberry and sugar soap for old Mr. mcGinty. All ready for my deliveries! I wonder what all the racket was?"
"Cripes! My emporium seems to have become the centre of a battle between alien robots of enormous power and unknown intentions! I hope this is covered by my insurance."
"No need to panic. My keen Lego instincts tell me that black & red over there MUST be the bad guy..."
"...so safety lies this way!"
"Go no further, flesh-covered imbecile! Hand over your toasted comestibles or be crushed!"
"Ahhhhhhh! Please don't crush me! They're all in the backpack!"
"Ah, yes... now, Autobot, prepare to face an invincible TOASTMASTER!"
"Ow. I think I broke something"
(mechanical gobbling noises)
"At last! You cannot harm me now. Untold power courses through my circuits! Autobots and humans alike will fall before my -"
"- erk - malfunction - ekek - malf..."
"Phew, that was a narrow escape. I wonder what happened?"
"It would appear, human, that absorbing such a diverse range of substances directly into his energon core overloaded his central power processing system. The Autobots are grateful to you - and your sandwiches."
"Really? Well now that IS a surprise..."
"I thought only rabbits died from mix-a-me-toasties!"
Comments and ramblings:
I had this all photographed about a month ago but it's taken until now to get round to writing the script and upload it!
So I had Ramjet almost finished in January, only for Chris Roach to post his version of the same transformer (go check it out. It's rather sleeker than mine). So I decided instead to see if I could combine my Ramjet with a story. But about what? Then I came across the phrase 'Ramjet likes toast' (it's one of those internet in-jokes, and can be found on lots of transformers fansites) and the rest is history....
I'm still quite new at this storytelling thing and not too great with scenery and lighting. So sorry for the rough edges. Hope you enjoyed it anyway!
Naturally, Ramjet and Trailbreaker both transform without removing any parts (except Ramjet's missiles). I'll put up a separate post with details of the transformations shortly, for transformers hacks like me.