A long 4 weeks hath past since our young inventor's dreams were crushed at the hands those ($@#^$%&#$ gosh diddly darnit guards) now he is plotting his revenge and gathering mercenaries and kool dudes from across the world.
About this creation
why hello yonder stranger with an auspicious beard what be ye purpose here....
shin-wong- asssaaaaaaa! a great a warrior among us with a good intentions
William - uuuummmmm? yea'th... look i just read a brochure about your super duper elite group in Mount Fuji and figured you guys could help me track down some d-bags i mean d-bags'th
Shin-Wong- werr a come a right in Wirriam
William- Wait how do you know my name?
Shin-Wong- hahahhaha what?..... any ways come inside and a warm up and terr us about your probrem
later- William- "well stupid knights'th said my glider was the work of the devil and burnt'th it down'th"
Shin-Wong- Wirriam that is the saddest story I have ever heard, see this...this is the worlds smallest gong..."GONG"
William- ok no need for that let me just know if you can help
Shin-Wong- fine come in the under part of the base
William- UUhhhhhh.... I dont get it?
Shin-Wong- You see Wirriam everything in Japan always involves giant robots or ninjas, sometimes you might even have to employ a ridiculously big breasted animated japanese school girl with laser beams in her hair I'm telling you this is the only ray!
William- OK if you insist... by the way'th were art we to find those %@Q#%@#$%#@^@#^&@&%""|'th knights.....woah.. wait school girl you sick'th perv'th
shin-wong- "hey rive a rittle am i light"
Shin-Wong- now lets take a boat back to Europe and serve these knights there vegetables now you 3 rejects guard the gate!!!! William- Aight dawg lez role'th
Before I Review, Where Is Part One? Seeing That This Is Part Two.
Andrew AKA Hump-Free
November 3, 2011
Aright, first off, thanks for joining the group and I read over both parts. The story has a bit of craziness to it, but It Is In section called manipulating history, so that would be the point. The story Is still developing, but I can see where It could go, maybe having him go on crazy adventures to seek the ultimate technology and Inventions to aid humanity, while meeting the craziest Inventors, while fighting ruthless tyrants and gang leaders using the crazy Inventions. I suggest making each part a little longer; to give more development, maybe have each page be an entire story. Each story could be a new area, era even, a new crazy Inventor and equally crazy Invention, and a new villain to fight. Just an Idea If you want to make this into series, itís up to you. However, if you do make a series, I suggest making a formal title, using a subtitle and label for each part, because it will make it easier to find each portion. For Instance, 'The Inventor's Misadventures: The Devilís Work Boyo (Part 1)í would make things way easier to follow stories. Another thing you may want to do Is link the parts together, so have the previous and next parts linked on page, and have a link to the beginning as well. This will make navigating easier for readers, which helps you, and if someone new happens to stumble upon a random part, they can check out the story from the beginning. Other than that, I suggest running with the Idea, maybe using the Ideas I mentioned, and make a series out of this, It doesn't matter If people want a third part, what matters If you want to make that third part, keep that in mind.