This is Tricia Takanawa reporting live from downtown Metropolis where only moments ago members of the Justice League ended an 18-hour siege on the city being carried out by giant robots controlled by an as of yet unknown villain.
As you can see behind me the extent of the damage has been quite extensive and while we do not yet have a clear estimate on the number of casualties or the long-term ramifications of this attack, the one thing that is clear is that this has been a truly catastrophic event. It seems quite fortunate that we have our superheroes here to save us time and again, but one must ask “Would we be subject to these kinds of supervillian attacks if we didn’t have spandex-clad, caped crusaders running around our cities?”
Would we in fact be safer if we did not have masked vigilantes obsessed on protecting us, since our would-be heroes seem to also inspire criminal masterminds looking for a new challenge? Today’s attack was the 7th such event this month. And giant robots are not worst of what we face. Radioactive monsters, alien invasions, intra-dimensional demigods, freak scientific accidents, fluctuations in the space/time continuum, and numerous other crisis events have all seemed to occur with uncanny regularity since the first superhero went public in 1938.
With me now is Justice League member, and self-proclaimed “Guardian of Gotham”, the Batman. Mister Batman, what do you have to say for yourself and your teammates with regards to your role in today’s events?