"Hello, everyone, and welcome aboard the Jungle Cruise. My name is Skipper Evan, and I'll be your skipper, guide, social director, and dance instructor for the next three months."
About this creation
"Those of you adventurers entering the world-famous Jungle Cruise, please notice there are two lines, one on the right and the other on the left. If you'd like to keep your family together, please stay in the same line. However, if there is someone in your family you'd like to get rid of, just put them in the opposite line and you'll never see them again."
"That's no house cat over there. Bengal Tigers can jump over 20 feet, and we must be at least, well... 19 feet away! Don't worry, he'll jump right over us."
"Beautiful Schweitzer Falls is upon us. The overhanging rock formation will afford us a different view this time. I have a special treat for you, folks. You may never have seen this before... there it is- the backside of water!"
"We’ve now turned down the Nile River and if you don’t believe that you must be in denial."
"Last week, these hippos overturned six of our boats, but don't worry... only FIVE of them were MINE!"
"And now, probably the most dangerous part of our journey- the return to civilization! I certainly hope you've enjoyed our cruise. Well we've laughed and we've cried. We've almost died! I love you like family. Now get out! I'm sorry, that was rude. Please get out."