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Redemption Chapter 2 (better)
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As with chapter one, I've made it a bit better. This one hasn't changed as much as the last, but I tried to describe the locations better.
About this creation
Dragonax walked through the dungeon below the Makuta base. The silence was broken only by his talons clicking on the stone floor, and the faint crackle of torches. He had been troubled lately by the strange flashbacks he’d been getting on his missions, so he decided to go somewhere he could relax. There was a reservoir outside the Makuta base that Dragonax often swam in, and it helped clear his mind. He was also one of the only Makuta capable of swimming, and liked to keep his skills fine tuned.
Dragonax continued walking, but was interrupted by a scream from down a nearby hallway. He hesitantly looked around the corner and saw a female Toa, clad in red and silver armor, pinned to the floor by the jail guard’s clawed foot.
“Try to burn me, huh?!” sneered the guard. “Well, let’s see how you like THIS!”
The guard put his full weight on the Toa’s back, causing her to scream in pain.
As Dragonax watched, he was filled with sudden, inexplicable pity for the Toa.
The guard turned to Dragonax, who had just spoken. “Whaddya’ mean ‘stop’?”
“I mean stop hurting her. Now.”
“You ain’t the boss of what I do. This little jerk burned me, and I’m just giving her what she deserves.”
The guard continued to crush the Toa’s back, causing her to scream once more. She tried to push herself up, but the Makuta continued to torture her. She let out a sob, cried “Help… me…” and then screamed again.
That’s when Dragonax snapped. He fired a white-hot blast of lightning at the guard, arcing off his armor and nearby prison cells, and flinging him down the hallway. Dragonax helped the Toa to her feet.
“I’m Dragonax. And you would be?”
“Mira,” said the Toa weakly.
“Can you walk?”
“I think so…” groaned Mira.
“Great. We need to get to the reservoir outside. Follow me!”
After making their way through a series of stone tunnels and hallways (and attracting the attention of several guards), they came to a large window overlooking the reservoir.
“Can’t we get any closer?” asked Mira, looking hesitantly at the 40 foot drop below her.
“No, not enough time.” Dragonax turned around the corner, and was nearly killed by a dagger that shot down the hallway. “Definitely not enough time.”
“Then how do we get down there?” Mira ducked as a huge explosion rocked the hallway.
“Hope you can swim!” Yelled Dragonax, as he grabbed the Toa around the waist and back-flipped over the railing.
Mira didn’t even have a chance to ask what was happening. The two plunged out the window and hit the water with a huge splash, followed by a volley of weapons and energy blasts.
To be continued.
Main picture by Connor Hoffman/Toa Knoxus


  October 2, 2012
Still nice.Hmmm.This art is quite abstract.I must go tell someone.Hey Axon.This art.I'ts very abstract.*looks down*And my posision is very far from the ground.
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  September 6, 2012
Another well-written chapter! Nice work!
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  September 2, 2012
 I like it 
  September 1, 2012
Still loving the story so far. Here's hoping you feel determined enough to tell us what happens next. XD
By Dragonax lord of all things black and creepy
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Added August 31, 2012

LEGO models my own creation MOCpages toys shop Redemption Chapter 2 (better)

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