Darth Yulik and Darth Dreer charged down the bombed out shell of the corridor which led to the rear entrance of the Sith Lords' chambers, the sound of the Jedi lightsabers burning at their heels.
Darth Yulik: "Lord Tremor, hold the door, we are here!"
Tremor smiled thinly as he began to pull the great doors closed.
Darth Tremor: "Your time is up, My Lords."
Darth Dreer: "In the name of Rovaniss, hold the door!"
Darth Tremor: "Oh? But it is in Rovaniss' name that I close them! If you defeat the Jedi then the Emperor will welcome you into our defences."
The heavy doors swung shut, trapping the two Sith on the other side as the Jedi ran into the corridor.
Alex Stones: "Aww, the poor Sith got left behind?"
Ordan Minoh: "Perhaps they should try knocking?"
Darth Yulik: "Jedi scum! We'll kill you all!"
Ames Victur grunted as Dreer charged into him, knocking him backwards.
Darth Dreer: "I'll eat your hearts Jedi!"
Ordan Minoh: "Ames, deal with Yulik! Dreer is mine!"
Darth Dreer: "Revenge? A very un-Jedi trait, Master Minoh."
Alex Stones: "Yeah, well he's gonna have to get in line Dreer!"
Ordan Minoh: "Be at peace Alex. We are not here for revenge, only to end Dreer's rampage!"
Darth Yulik grunted as he dodged Oylo Rubble's attack and parried Ames' blade.
Oylo Rubble: "Can you feel it Ames? The Force is singing! The end is at hand!"
Darth Yulik: "Only your's Jedi!"
Alex Stones roared in anger as he clashed with Dreer.
ALex Stones: "All these years of battling, it finally comes down to this Dreer! I will take you down myself!"
Trace Flamer: "Watch your anger, Alex! I can feel it burning within you!"
Alex Stones: "Shut up, Trace! I know what I am doing!"
Darth Dreer: "Do you though, boy?"
Darth Yulik cackled as he unleashed a bolt of lightning that knocked Ames off of his feet.
Oylo Rubble: "Ames!"
Yulik grinned as Oylo charged towards him, swinging her blade to meet Yulik's own. However, Yulik deactivated his weapon at the last moment, causing Oylo to stumbble forwards as her blade met nothing but thin air.
Ames gasped as Yulik turned his blade in his hand and activated it, the red beam driving into Oylo's back.
Darth Yulik: "And the first Jedi falls."
Ordan Minoh: "Alex! You must stop, your anger is consuming you!"
Alex Stones: "Maybe anger is what is needed to defeat this monster!"
Ordan reached out with the Force and used it to push Alex away before engaging Dreer himself.
Darth Dreer: "You see, Stones? Even your own Jedi attack you! They are afraid of your power! They'd rather see you dead!"
Trace Flamer: "He's lying Alex, we're your friends!"
Fire burned in Alex's eyes as he leapt into the air.
ALex Stones: "I don't care! I'll kill you all!"
Dreer grinned fiercly as he turned around and slashed his blade across Alex's chest.
Trace Flamer: "No!"
Ordan Minoh: "Why? Why kill him? He was your's!"
Darth Dreer: "Because I hated Alex Stones, his death was inevitable!"
Ames jumped away from Yulik as the Zabrack swung his blade at him. The two whirled on each other, their blades clashing in a deadly dance of light and sparks.
Darth Yulik: "You fight well Jedi, but your time is over!"
Yulik raised his hand and fired of a shock of lightning, knocking the surprised Jedi's lightsaber from his grip.
Yulik charged Ames but the Jedi skillfully dodged the Sith's attack and swung his fist, punching Yulik squarely in the jaw.
As Yulik stumbled backwards, Ames turned around and summoned his blade to his hand, the green beam of light firing into life as the weapon reached his palm.
Before Yulik could recover, Ames turned round and buried his blade into Yulik's chest, killing the Sith Lord instantly.
Trace Flamer: "One Sith dies. You now face three Jedi alone, Dreer!"
Darth Dreer: "And I shall feast on you all!"
Dreer ducked under Trace's attack and swung his blade. The young Jedi cried out in pain as the red lightsaber blade burned through his wrist, severing his right hand.
Darth Dreer: "Prepare to die, Jedi!"
Dreer suddenly gasped as a green bladed lightsaber buried itself into his body.
Seconds later, a blue bladed lightsaber sliced neatly through his thick neck.
The lightsabers spun back through the air and returned smoothly to Ordan Minoh's waiting hands.
Ordan Minoh: "No one dies by your hand again."
Trace Flamer: "Bad choice of words, Master Minoh."
Ordan laughed as Ames hurried over and the two of them helped Trace to his feet.
Trace Flamer: "Did we lose?"
Ordan Minoh: "Yes, and no. But the doorway to the Masters' chambers is ours. The storm is here my friends, and the Sith cannot hope to weather it."
your scene although basic, is clean, and does nt distract from the action and good dialogue, it does the job, a good thing to do now, would be to rid yourself of a creature I can t beleive I have seen in a great story like that, + the sith must ve been conditionned by the joker, as it still has some green smudge left... lol! just clean up this, and boy! that rocks!