"Wow," I thought as I listened to the shouts of Peter the Hermit. "He really wants people to join him and take Jerusalem from the Turks?" I listened a little longer, and made my decision. What could it hurt just to tag along?
As the battle progressed, I could see that the battle was not going well for the Crusaders. Siege ladders were falling, and even Peter the Hermit was fleeing. I tried to help injured "warriors" to get back on their feet. Eventually, the Turks finally forced us to flee.
19 years later...
I began to climb up the siege tower, when I heard a priest calling, "David! Come here, I found something!", so I climbed down. "What is it? A secret passageway into Antioch? A new weapon? Some root beer?" "No. Help me dig this up," said the priest, annoyed. As we dug, a spear took shape out of the dirt. The priest gasped in recognition. "The spear from my dream!" "You dreamed about this?" I asked. "Yes! This is the Holy Lance! The spear that pierced Jesus' side!" replied the now very excited priest. "What? It's just an ordinary lance? It'll bolster the army, if nothing else."
Finally, after years of besieging Antioch, a traitor led us in through an underground passage.
After travelling for several hours in the night, we saw the light of the moon
We emerged from the tunnel, and charged. We battled the Turks, who were woken up by the guard's clamor. Finally, the city of Antioch was ours! But then I realized... "Wait a minute, we still have to take back Jerusalem? After all this work?"
Another amazing entry for the contest. The story is well done, however, you should work on the dialogue. You have it all in one paragraph which makes it hard to follow who is speaking. Give each persons dialogue a line to clear it up. On to the MOC... The set is very well done. The wall look clean and the underground passage turned out nicely.