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Colonialism 101
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An arguably educational build for the 'Marines' category of D.A.2: Up from the Ashes...
About this creation
While every man/woman of the New Corsairs' armed forces is bold as brass, cool as ice, and tough as old sea boots, perhaps none are more so than the Marines. As the world reels from the collapse of the old order, and newly emerged local powers race to establish their position, it often falls to the Marines to be the first to stake out New Corsican interests on virgin territory.






Officer: Ving! Use the grappling hook.


Officer: Well done lads,
Medic: Oi!
Officer: Well done lads and lady, so far so good. Now quick, get up the cliff! Ving, secure the boat.


Officer: Get that equipment erected!
Private: It's coming unstitched again, sir.
Officer: Medic, get a couple of safety pins, and look sharp about it!


Officer: Ah, now there's an inspiring sight! Ahem. "By the authority invested in me, I hereby claim this land, and all its resources in the name of the New Corsairs." Huzzah! We will now sing the national anthem.
"Fear not! This dawn shall never fade,
For while we've rum and lemonade,
Our hearts, and lives we'll ever..."



Islander: Excuse me.
Officer: What is it? Can't you see I'm trying to sing the national anthem??
Islander: Excuse me, you can't claim this land. It's ours. We've been living here for hundreds of years!
Officer: Do you have a flag?
Islander: No.
Officer: Then that doesn't count. You can't be nation-state without a flag, any international politics text book will tell you that.


Officer: Look, I'll arrange a seminar about it for you. But you'll have to clean yourself up a bit first, there's no make-up allowed in class, that's school rules. Medic! Give this... gentleman... some soap!
Medic: Aye aye sir!


Officer: Congratulations! You are now a citizen of New Corsica.
Islander: What does that mean?
Officer: Well, a lot of things, but in short, we take your land and natural resources, and in return we'll give you measles, bureaucracy and fizzy cola. If you have any other questions, someone will be along in a few days to set up the local Citizens Advice Bureau.


Islander: I'm not sure I want to be a citizen...
Officer: Oh yes you do. See that flag? You're on New Corsican sovereign territory now. If you're not a citizen, you could be a spy and I'd have to arrest you.
Islander: Can I go somewhere else??
Officer: Not without a passport. You'll have to apply at the local passport office, which should be set up in about, oh, 6 months. Squad! We're done here. Back to the ship!



Fourth wall: Final shot of the full diorama (Spec. #1), with the squad of four (Spec. #2) completing their operation (Spec #3). Ving guards the zodiac (Spec #4) while the medic (Spec #5) gathers her equipment.

This MOC was very much inspired by Eddie Izzard's 'Do you have a Flag?' routine; I'm indebted to David Roberts for pointing it out to me! Unfortunately it's not as much of an exaggeration of the truth as I'd like...




Comments

 I like it 
  July 30, 2015
+
  July 1, 2015
Wow. Just wow. Cool comedy bit, icing on the cake!
  June 28, 2015
Nice M.O.C. love it. I have a question, can you ceak out my 3rd year on Mocpages i would really appreciate it. http://www.mocpages.com/moc.php/415204 p.s. its a M.O.C. to.
 I like it 
  June 27, 2015
The lust for money, fame and power?! Hey, it makes me smile! ;)
 I like it 
  June 27, 2015
Nice one, and painfully true. Colonialism: a pretty word for an ugly thing...since [insert accurate date here].
Stuart Lucas
 I like it 
Tirrell Brown
  June 26, 2015
Oh that is hilarious.."Do you have a flag?" "No" "well then it doesn't count." lol
 I like it 
  June 26, 2015
Like all good routines, Eddie Izzard's tend to be rooted in the truth... especially where British colonial history is concerned! Nice build, very educational :-)
 I like it 
  June 26, 2015
A great work of Lego "Diorama" creationism!
 I like it 
  June 26, 2015
Good stuff, love the scene and write up!
 I like it 
  June 26, 2015
This is a great build and an excellent story. Well done, sir!
 I like it 
  June 26, 2015
Great Set
Stuart Lucas
 I like it 
Humanoid Typhoon
  June 25, 2015
Funny scene. The cliff build is awesome
Stuart Lucas
Keith Goldman
  June 25, 2015
"Give this... gentleman... some soap!" Another entertaining entry General Lucas. You are specifications-accurate and ready to storm the beaches!
 I like it 
  June 25, 2015
Hmmm, cake or death? :D
 I like it 
  June 25, 2015
Haha. Great build and very funny.
 I like it 
  June 25, 2015
When I saw you starting the 'Do you have a Flag' routine I burst out laughing. Good build, nice zodiac, and funny write-up. Good luck in the coming exploitation of this islands resources!
 I like it 
  June 25, 2015
That is sad humour there. Nice build, and I like how you used your land scene. Good job, Stuart!
 
By Stuart Lucas
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LEGO models my own creation MOCpages toys shop Colonialism 101


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