The 2009 MOCie Awards . . Richard: “Good evening ladies and gentlemen and welcome to DarkSpawn Memorial Gardens and the 2009 MOCie Awards! I’m your host, Richard Les.”
Richard: “Most awards shows take forever to get going, but not the MOCies! We dive right in to the action!”
Richard: “And the question on everyone’s mind tonight, who are the lucky few who will take home one of these lovely trophies?”
Dave Sterling: “Can I start throwing the fruit yet?”
Stacy Sterling: “Wait for it.”
Richard: “Our first category tonight is Microscale. And let’s face it, most of the guys around here have “first hand” knowledge of this category. The Nominees are, Garth Danielson for Twinlug Micropolis, JD Luse for Luseville, Michael Labelle for Marina City, Shannon Young for Shannonia, Tania Baixinho for The Living Tree and Thomas Benedikt for Home One.”
Richard: “And the winner is Shannon Young for Shannonia!”
Richard: “Get on up here Shannon. Your adoring public wants to hear what you have to say.”
(Written by Shannon Young… HTML and all) AWARD WINNING! AWARD WINNING! AWARD WINNING! AWARD WINNING! EVERYONE SUCKS BUT ME! AWARD WINNING!
Richard: “Well… thanks Shannon. Moving on, the nominees for best in Sci Fi. Brian Kescenovitz for 19 Seconds to Find God, Mark Kelso for both Dawn Forgery and The Rusty Ferret, Mark Stafford for Our Tears Fell as Dry as Moondust, Nannan Z for End of Days and Thomas Benedikt for Home One.”
Richard: “The winner is, Brian Kescenovitz for 19 Seconds to Find God.”
Richard: “Hurry up will ya? Man I hope you walk faster than you build.”
(Written by Brian Kescenovitz) “HA! First it wins the people’s choice award in Goldman’s silly little contest, and now this! Further evidence that you were a fool for not picking it to win, Keith, a FOOL!!! MUWAAH HAA HAA HAA HAA HAAAAAAAAAA!!!
I mean…uhh…thanks everybody.”
Richard: “Our next category is Best Realistic Vehicle. The nominees are, Firas Abu-Jaber for Audi R8 TDI Le Mans, Model Team American Style Truck and his Shelby GT500 Super Snake, Lego Monster for the HMS Hood, The Legohaulic for Brick to the Future and Steven Marshall for Mini Cooper Rally.”
And the winner is, Lego Monster for the HMS Hood!”
Lego Monster: “What, you thought it was just a cool nickname?”
Richard: “Now, the award for best Castle. The Nominees are, Alien Cat for Herenbosch, DarkSpawn for Tower Rock, Kevin Fedde for Castle Caraval Revisited, Matija Grguric for Castle Rock, Professor Eggplant for Eggplant Deep and Radegast for Radoch Castle.”
Richard: “And the MOCie goes to, DarkSpawn for Tower Rock!”
DarkSpawn: “And THAT’S why the theater is named after me!”
Richard: “Now we come to the nominees for best Sig-Fig episode. Those nominees are, Brian Kescenovitz for both The Real Life Adventures of SigOcean Figgy and The Unofficial SigKelso, Chris Phipson for MOC WARS Episode 5 and SigFiggy Phipson’s SAC, and Mark Kelso for Close Encounters of the Turd Kind.”
Richard: “And the winner is Mark Kelso for Close Encounters of the Turd Kind.”
Kelso: “Outta the way hairline.”
Kelso: “I can’t believe I’ve been sitting on my butt for almost an hour and FINALLY you recognize my greatness. I’ll just take my award and go sit down before I say something I’ll really regret when I sober up.”
Richard: “And while I wait for the stage to air out so I don’t need a breathalyzer if I get pulled over on my way home, the Nominees for Funniest Moc. Chris Phipson for See… Saw, Jeff Cross for Crashing the Beach, Collecting Heads, Lee Jones for his Darwin Awards Entries, Mark Kelso for Yule Fools, Shannon Ocean, or was that Young?... For Trouble at the Base, and Shannon Young for The Other Shannon Part 3.
Richard: “And the winner is, Mark Kelso for Yule Fools.”
Mark: “Huh, whaa, woooooahhhhh!” *SPLASH*
Mark: “I’d like to thank the academy… Now someone get me a towel! And the first person to make a comment about me being all washed up...”
Richard: “And that’s the half way point for this year’s MOCies. Chris had a number of requests to bring back the MOCpages Interpretive Dancers for this year’s entertainment, but he refused to leave you with anything but the best and let’s face it, those dancers are old news.
Ladies and Gentlemen, allow me to introduce for you, THE greatest boy band to ever grace MOCpages. The HALO Kiddies!
HALO, HALO, HALO Kiddies roooooock!
HALO, HALO, HALO Kiddies roooooock!
We’re the HALO kiddies and our mocs are the best,
We build it then we post it then you’ll love it like the rest.
We’ll comment on your moc and tell you that you rok,
Then finish our review with “come chek out my mocs!”
Come chek out my Warthog made from 37 colors,
We don’t care ‘bout socializing, we’re homeschooled by our mothers.
HALO, HALO, HALO Kiddies roooooock!
HALO, HALO, HALO Kiddies rooooooock!
Stacy: “NOW you can start throwing the fruit.”
Dave: “I got hungry during the Castle awards… Oh sweet irony, thy name is HALO.”
If you don’t comment on my Ghost, I’ll one bomb all your stuff,
‘Cause we’re the HALO kiddies and we like to play ruff!
We’re the HALO Kiddies and our stuf is built real strong,
If you don’t leave an awesome comment, Mstur Cheef will PaWn!
Kelso: “Put it down Chris, they’re almost done.”
HALO, HALO, HALO Kiddies roooooock!
HALO, HALO, HALO Kiddies rock!
Richard: “Thank you HALO Kiddies Boy Band! Just so you all know, they’ll be waiting in the parking lot after the show for their moms to pick them up. Our next award is for best ongoing theme. The Nominees are, Brian kescenovitz for Dawn Forge, Chris Phipson for the 2008 MOCies and MOC WARS, Crimso Giger for the Zorg Empire, Emperor Ludgonius for LIU Atlas and Giovanni Seynhaeve for Aquastlenauts.”
Richard: “And the MOCie goes to, Brian Kescenovitz for Dawn Forge.”
(Written by Brian Kescenovitz) “Hey, thanks everyone…I’m glad some people have taken a shine to my little theme. And rest assured that the DF backstory is in the works and will be posted…soon. Really. Well, maybe. OK, eventually. Sometime this…uhh… year. Probably…”
Phipson: “250 pounds my BUTT!”
Richard: “Now there’s something you don’t see every day… also something you don’t want to see… ever. Anyway, the Nominees for Town are Alex Eylar for Fregoli Alley and One Stormy Night in October, Aliencat for Hammerfell Castle, Matija Grguric for Town Block and Orion Pax for Metropolitan Museum of Art. And the winner is, Aliencat!”
(Written by Aliencat) "I've always wanted to be an award, so winning one is the next best thing to a dream come true."
Shaddix: “Really? And no one nominated my house fire?”
Richard: “The Nominees for the Miscellaneous category, MOCs that just didn’t quite fit nicely in any other category so they got their own. They are Dave and John Xandegar for Breakfast, HeatherLEGOgirl for The Dave Shaddix Home for Wayward Girls, Legohaulic for Jack Skellington, Sean Kenney for Two Short Orders, Sebus I for the Flying Dutchman (MOTD today by the way) and Sir Nadroj for Nepal.”
Richard: “And the winner is HeatherLEGOgirl for the Dave Shaddix Home for Wayward Girls! Wow, bet she wishes she wrote her own speech for this huh?”
Heather: “Wow! I never thought I’d win. I’d like to thank everyone who voted for me. I’m so lucky that my husband Jason was able to be airlifted in through the retractable roof. It’s getting him out that’s going to be the tricky part. Chris told me that it would be ironic if I gave him those trophies and then he would have to turn around and ship one right back to me. Maybe I should have taken him seriously and actually wrote a speech. Ugh.”
Richard: “Thanks Heather. The Nominees for best new guy (or girl) are Dave and John Xandegar, Dax Olesa, Dvious Enigma, Masterchief 1, Steef de Prouw and Sterling Knight. And the winner and best newbie this year is Steef de Prouw!”
Steef: “Who woulda thought with a face like this that I’d win anything? Thanks everyone. I did bring a few of my long ships to show you guys but Heather and Stacy mugged me in the lobby and stole em. Probably never gonna see those again.”
Richard: “And now we come down to our final two awards. First up, the nominees for MOCcer of the year. Brian kescenovitz, Firas Abu-Jaber, Mark Kelso, Professor Eggplant, Shannon Ocean and Shannon Young. And the MOCcer of the year is, Shannon Young!”
(Written by Shannon Young) “How many of you really meant to vote for Ocean? Too late, suckers, it's my award now!”
Richard: “And for our final award of the night, MOC of the Year! It was a very tough race with a number of very impressive mocs, but your votes mocpages have chosen one, only one that can claim the prize of MOC of the Year. The noninees are Brian kescenovitz for 19 Seconds to Find God, Keith Goldman and his collaborative group for Zero Hour on Highway 44, Mark Kelso for the Rusty Ferret, Nannan Z for End of Days, Shannon Young for Shannonia and Thomas Benedikt for Home One. And the MOC of the year is, Zero Hour on Highway 44 by Keith Goldman and company!”
(Written by Keith Goldman) "It took 22 builders from across the planet and MOCpages celebrity Brian Kescenovitz to make "Zero Hour" come to life. It was a timeless story of man-on-brick action and one sweaty photography session with a burly man from Wisconsin, and whatnot. We all extend our thanks to the fine citizens of MOCpages who voted for "Zero Hour", and hope it encourages all of you to play with each other, and yourselves. Thank you and in closing; winner-winner, chicken-dinner."
Richard: “Thank you Keith and thank you everyone for making this year’s MOCies the best yet.
Richard: “And that’s it for this year’s MOCie Awards! Hope to see you all at the after party!”
Fourth Wall Commentary: 1 year, thousands of mocs and hundreds of votes later, it’s finally done! Thank you so much MOCpages for making this so much fun! I really had a blast doing this. Now I’d like to take the time to thank everyone that helped make this awards show the success it’s become. My Co-producer Mark Kelso. HeatherLEGOgirl for making those amazing trophies (that each winner will be receiving, more on that in a minute) and of course, my prize patrols who helped me by either donating prizes or doing the leg work to help me acquire them. Heather, Sean Kenney, Steve Witt (From The LEGO Group) and Dave and Stacy Sterling. Thank you Adam Stasiek for helping out with minifigs and Sig-Figs, Aliencat couldn’t have made an appearance without you.
I’d like to take a second to thank Sean Kenney for all he’s done to help promote the MOCies this year. Signing the trophies (Just no one tell him he spelled “MOCies” wrong… shhhh), donating two of the prizes AND shameless front page promotion of the awards and for just putting up with the likes of me for the past year and a half. THANK YOU SEAN!
For the winners: In order to collect your trophies AND prizes, please email me your address and a code word to email@example.com. I’ll post that code word (If I already have your email on file, you don't need to worry about the code word thing) on your winning moc and you can reply to it that that is in fact the correct code word. Then I’ll know that your email is really from you and I’ll send you your swag! Congratulations to all the winners!
I already started work on the after party post (gotta bleed this ride till it’s dry) and should have that up in a few weeks or so. And don’t forget to start looking for the MocOlympics sign up within the next couple of weeks!
Thanks again everyone!