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History 101 with Mister Bones - Episode 1: Pre-Historic Earth . History 101 with Mister Bones is traveling back to the time of the dinosaurs! ****WARNING! Mild adult language and scientific point of view ahead!**** . “Welcome to the Mesozoic Era folks! Today we are going to see some of the various dinosaurs that inhabited the Earth millions of years ago! Even though these creatures actually lived during different times, we have brought them all together here for your educational enjoyment! Let’s get started with the Tapejara. This creature, which you see soaring above me is a type of animal called a Pterosaur. These magnificent creatures ruled the skies during the Early Cretaceous, about 127 million years ago.” “Next we see a juvenile Brachiosaurs lumbering down the waterway, eating the green leafy plants that are too high for other animals to reach. These creatures grew to be 72 feet high (22 meters) and weighed in at 80 tons! They roamed the landscape during the Late Jurassic, 155 million years ago.” “Look here! A juvenile Triceratops! These fearsome looking herbivores could grow to be 30 feet long (8-9 meters) and weigh 12 tons, almost the size of a bus! They lived during the Late Cretaceous, 65 million years ago.” “Now here is a great find! A group of Tyrannosaurs Rex babies! These little guys will grow to be one of the most famous, and feared dinosaurs of all time. Hmmm, I wonder where the mother is. T-Rex babies were watched over and cared for by their mothers after birth. They also lived during the Late Cretaceous. Oh, well, let’s move on.” “Here we find another well known dinosaur that lived during the Late Jurassic, Stegosaurs! Scientists now believe that the large plates on the creatures back were for display and not defense. The stegosaurs could flush these plates with blood to look more menacing when being attacked by a hungry Allosaurus, or enhance their rather studly appearance for the ladies. Wish I could do that! Wait, what’s that?” “A raptor! Uh-oh folks, this could get ugly, good thing I brought along a gun. These fast little carnivores would make short work of me and the cameraman. I am not sure what species that is, maybe it is an Uglysaurus!” “Look at that, he’s running away. I wonder why. Oh well, time to wrap up I think.” “We didn’t get to see that mommy T-Rex, which is a shame, but we did get to…hey, stop shaking the camera! The shots will be all blurry!” “What are you doing? Hold the damn camera still!” “HOLY SON OF A BIT%&!!!” “RUN YOU STUPID BA$TARD, RUN!!!” Seems Mister Bones and his cameraman made it back to the time machine just in time, although, Mister Bones seems to have lost some possessions, including his hand. Dem Notes: Dem Bones offers up this little nugget with no intent to offend anyone who does not believe in evolution, this is simply another point of view.

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