LIU Atlas - Muspell . There are billions of stars, millions of planets, but there is only one man, Terrance McDoogal. Welcome to LIU Atlas. . LIU Atlas - Muspell
The Ludgonian Industrial Union's galaxy contains billions of stars and billions of planets. Unfortunately, most residents of the LIU could only name a handful of these worlds. In order to improve astronomy grades across the LIU, TV2 has started a new program called LIU Atlas. Follow our host, Terrance McDoogal, as he takes you on a tour across the LIU and some of its more obscure worlds.
Note: This episode is presented in full screen. The corresponding dialogue is underneath each photo.
"Welcome to Season Two of LIU Atlas. I'm your host, Terrance "Doog" McDoogal. Today, we are here on the fiery volcanic moon of Muspell. Muspell is stuck in a gravitational tug of war between its parent planet, the gas giant Pondus, and its star, the red giant Yusafone. The conflicting gravitational forces of these two bodies are literally tearing Muspell apart, allowing hot magma from Muspell's core to rise to the surface."
"I've landed here on a platform over the lava river of Aestus. As soon as my ship leaves, I hope to meet with my guide, a Muspellian known as Adkr Drosgor. The Muspellians, while highly intelligent, are very anti-social. They refuse to mingle with the other races of the LIU and can only be found here on Muspell."
Doog: “Here he comes now, Adkr Drosgor. Wow, he sure is ugly. Don't worry folks, Muspellians don't have any ears on those giant heads, so I can say stuff like that. In fact, Muspellians don't have vocal chords either, so even if he could hear me, he couldn't complain. So what's on the agenda today Mr. Bighead? By the way, say something if you don't want me to call you that. I'll stop."
Adkr: "Stop calling me that."
Doog: "What the heck? I thought you couldn't talk?"
Adkr: "This voice modulator on my chest converts my thoughts into audible frequencies so I can communicate with lesser evolved species like yourself."
Doog: "But...but, how can you hear me?"
Adkr: "I am reading your mind directly. And, no, you may not know about my reproductive anatomy."
Doog: "What! I didn't say that."
Adkr: "You thought it. By the way, those thoughts you had about your sister are disturbing."
Doog: "Sorry folks, Adkr is clearly having some technical difficulties. He must be reading my camera man's mind instead of mine."
Adkr: “The vast emptiness that is your brain is unmistakable Doog."
Doog: "Uhh, let's move on. What's the burning smell? It smells like bacon."
Adkr: "That's your flesh Doog. The surface temperature here is much too hot for your fragile skin. Let's go get you fitted for a heat suit."
Adkr: "Come out here onto this lava bridge Doog. We'll test your suit."
Doog: "No way Adkr. This spandex suit is way too embarrassing."
Adkr: "As embarrassing as when your mom caught you wearing your grandma's bra?"
Doog: "Not cool Adkr. Not cool. I was only five. Now stay out of there."
Adkr: "You were twenty five."
Doog: "Enough Adkr!"
Doog: "Alright. Alright. I'm out here on this stupid lava bridge. I believe my suit is functioning just fine Adkr. Although, I'm sure you already know that. What's the deal with this bridge and that tower over there?"
Adkr: "Monitoring towers, like this one here, were built to monitor the lava levels on Muspell. If the lava levels ever reach the red warning level, systems will begin to fail."
Doog: "How come the lava doesn't even reach the meter Adkr?"
Adkr: "It used to, until the LIU came in and ramped up our production 1000%. We used to live in harmony with our planet, only using what lava was available. Now, because of the LIU, we are seeing unprecedented drops in lava levels across the planet."
Doog: "What do you mean by production? What do you guys produce, and don't tell me its hats..."
Adkr: "That might have been funny if I didn't know you've been thinking of that joke since we first met. Anyway, here on Muspell, we produce two things, energy and Muspellian steel. We use lava dams, like this one here, to produce energy."
Doog: "Do they work like traditional water dams?"
Adkr: "They do in some ways. Like traditional dams, falling lava turns large turbines that generate electricity. However, these dams also produce energy by pumping water through the superheated dam walls. This superheated water is converted into steam, generating even more power. We create more energy in a day than we'll need all week. We store this excess energy in fuel cells and batteries and sell it for profit."
Adkr: "Be careful Doog, standing there is highly dangerous, especially for someone with your mental ineptitude."
Doog: "You're just jealous that you can't balance like me with that giant head of yours."
Adkr: "Hey viewers, Doog wet the bed last night."
Doog: "Hey! That one's not true!"
Doog: "So what's this Muspellian steel you were talking about?"
Adkr: Muspellian steel is a naturally occurring mineral that can be found in old lava tubes like this one. The lava gets trapped in pockets of igneous rocks like this, cools, and leaves behind Muspellian steel ore."
Doog: "What's this giant machine behind us?"
Adkr: "That is a LIU Tunnel Boring Machine. It tunnels deep into the lava tubes so the ore can be extracted. It's much faster than our traditional way, but much more destructive."
Adkr: "Yes Doog. The Boring Machines open up huge holes in the lava tubes and occasionally, they cause the whole tube to collapse. When the tubes collapse, the lava above it drops as well. In fact, we believe the Boring Machines are directly linked to the falling lava levels across Muspell."
Doog: "Speaking of "boring", what's next?"
Adkr: "Once the ore is collected, it is transported to our steel factories via train."
Doog: "Yeah, that's right viewers, Adkr and my producer thought it was too dangerous to stand on a track for this shot, so we are using stock footage. They're such pansies."
Adkr: "Using my mind, I can shut down your body systems one at a time Doog. Keep it up, and I shall show you."
Doog: "Anyway, we are now here at the Muspellian Steel Factory. What's going on here Adkr?"
Adkr: "Well Doog, we use electrical field generators to melt the ore into a liquid. The liquid ore is then poured into the mold trays behind us."
Adkr: "If I turn this tray off here, I can show you the hardened steel."
Adkr: "Now that it is open, you can see four bars of solid Muspellian Steel."
Doog: "All this work for just four bars?"
Adkr: "We have thousands of these trays Doog, but yes, only four per tray."
Doog: "I'm just saying, it seems kind of silly to make them in batches of four."
Adkr: "See this bar right here Doog? It costs more than some empires make in a year. This is high quality stuff. Outside of the LIU, only a handful of empires and corporations can afford more than four bars at a time. So it makes perfect sense."
Doog: "Is it finished?"
Adkr: "Before it is shipped out, each steel bar must pass quality control. Four LIU quality control bots check each bar to make sure it is the right size and shape.
Adkr: " They also insure the bar meets all strength and durability standards."
Doog: If Muspellian Steel is so expensive that most people can only afford four bars, what is it used for? I mean, it would take years to acquire enough to make a building or a tank."
Adkr: "Muspellian Steel conducts electricity faster than most known metals. Each bar has enough metal to make hundreds, if not thousands, of electrical devices. That microphone in your hand probably has Muspellian Steel inside it."
Doog: Well folks, that about does it. As you can see, the Muspellians, Muspell Industries, and Muspell are all important parts of the LIU. Thanks for joining us."
Adkr: "Your thoughts betray you Doog. You know there is still one more place you have to go."
Doog: "Fine. You're right. I'll go, but only if you stay here. There's no way I'm bringing a mind reader with me when I go back to prison. There are things I never want anyone know about."
Adkr: "Like that time in the shower when you..."
Doog: "Shut it!"
Adkr: "OK fine, how about that time you played hide the pickle with those..."
Adkr: "Alright Doog. I promise I won't come. In order to get you back into Muspell Minimum Security Prison, we'll need to load you into a LIU Prisoner Pod. I had them engrave your old prisoner ID number on the front for old time sakes."
Doog: "Jeez, thanks Adkr. It's as comfortable as I remembered it."
Adkr: "Now that you're loaded up, this LIU Prisoner Pod Transport will attach to your pod and transport you to the prison. See you later Doog, and don't worry, I won't tell anyone about that time you thought that guy was a lady."
Doog: "To be perfectly honest Adkr, I hope I never see you again."
Doog: "Muspell Minimum Security Prison is located deep inside a cliff surrounded by miles of lava. This LIU Prisoner Pod Transport is flying me there. The entrance is protected by steel bars, and the only thing that can open them, is the automated code given by the transport."
Doog: "I'm now inside Muspell Minimum Security Prison, Cell Block 121 to be exact. I once served four months here for crimes against the LIU. Muspell Minimum Security Prison, known to the inmates as the Stink Pit, houses several thousands inmates. I'm now joined by Warden Hickory Smith."
Doog: "So what can you tell us about Muspell Minimum Security Prison?"
Smith: "Well Doog, most of the inmates here committed crimes that didn't warrant being sent to a LIU Orbital Prison, nor did they warrant execution. They are all here for short stints of rehabilitation, kind of like you were."
Smith: "As you know, living conditions here are pretty nice. Everyone gets their own cell with a nice comfy bed and a clean toilet. Its all someone needs to survive."
Doog: " I think you lied about twelve times in that last statement."
Smith: "What do you mean?"
Doog: "What do you think I mean? Living conditions here are horrible. The beds are infested with fleas and are as hard as a rock. The toilets don't flush, they're just bowls. We get no TV or recreational time. This place is terrible!"
Smith: "If you can't do the time, don't do the crime Doog. That's my motto."
Smith: "Muspell Minimum Security Prison also has a few nice and relaxing solitary confinement cells, for those special guests who can't seem to play nice with others."
Doog: "Well folks, this here is my old cell. As the warden said, it doesn't have much, just a bed and a "toilet". Uh Warden, are you sure opening this cell up was a good idea? This scary looking green guy doesn't look happy."
Smith: "You'll be fine Doog. You have body armor on after all, and old greenie here has only ripped off one guy's arms. You'll be fine."
Doog: "That's it. I'm out of here. Thanks for joining us."
Doog: "Well folks, this here is my old...CUT! Son of a @#$$%, the green guy has his pants off."
Smith: "Would you like to show the viewers the prison's shower room?"
Doog: "Absolutely not. I know what happens in there."
Smith: "Nothing happens in there Doog. Not on my watch, come on let's see."
Smith: "Oh *$#% we had a rape! LOCKDOWN!"
Doog: "What did I tell you?"
Smith: "Turn those &*$#ing cameras off now!"
Doog: "Jaspero? Is that you? I guess the establishment finally got you.."
Jaspero: "Doog? Doog! Hey hook me up man. I'll take a large mushroom pizza, hold the crust, sauce, and cheese, if you know what I mean."
Smith: "Do you know this hippie Doog?"
Doog: "Uhh, no. No I don't. See ya Jaspero, I mean prison HC67799."
Doog: "Oh @!#&. CUT! I dropped my cell phone."
Adkr: "What's a Bonkton?"
Doog: "Uhhh, I'm not sure what you are...um...talking about Adkr."
Adkr: I'm reading Bonktron on your mind Doog. I am not familiar with that term though. What does it mean?"