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Darth Yuri - a Star Wars story. . Follow the rise and fall of Darth Yuri, the fallen Jedi, through the war-ridden galaxy far, far away... Now, look at your monitor from below and start pacing backwards... . Fig-Fax Yuri was a mediocre Jedi consular working for the Council. He was known for mounting his lightsaber on top of a Force Pike to make up for his lack of physical prowess. As a padawan, he often lost contact with the Force for short periods without an apparent reason, and as a Jedi Knight he often strayed, brushing with the Dark Side. After one of the most severe of these occurrences, he was sent to a disciplinary hearing before a few members of the Jedi Council: Master Mace Windu, Master Yoda and Master Shifu Leo J. It was only a trivial matter, and it would have ended with a long preach and a warning, but Fig-Fax was still "under the influence"... ... so he told master Yoda "If you don't like the way I work, you can kiss MY dark side!" He was banned from the Order without appeal. In his defense, the very next decision the Council made was: "We don't trust Palpatine and we fear Skywalker is straying... let's humiliate the kid and put them together, see what happens", so as you see the Council decision process may have been all but flawless at the time. Ironically, after a few days of brooding, he left Coruscant only a few hours before Order 66 was issued. In spite of the Council, he renamed his ship "Sith Viper" and started calling himself Darth Yuri. He never changed it to the end of his days. - At first he sought refuge in Tatooine, a planet so crappy that most other refugees didn't even bother changing their name, seen how unlikely it was to see the Empire anywhere near the system. Yet evntually, a Grumorran bounty hunter (a smarter side-evolution of the Gamorreans), whom he usually beat at cards, brought some 501st troopers on his trail. His fame as a Knight was pretty low, as we said, so they thought to take him on. Well, for how much low his fame was before the Purge, he still was a Jedi Knight, as they had the displeasure to find themselves. However, this ultimately led more unwanted guests on his trail, until while sharing a few with some acquaintances in a cantina, his worst fear came true. F***ing Darth Vader found him! Of course his chances against Vader were thinner than ice on Tatooine, but if there was a thing in which Darth Yuri excelled was getting out of trouble. He sprung up the counter, sneered at Darth Vader and said: "Hey Anakin, I'm on high ground! You might as well surrender now!" Vader was caught in such a fit of rage that his life support malfunctioned from Force pressure, and he couldn't breathe properly. Darth Yuri used these spare seconds to make his exit. Belive it or not, in a few minutes he wasn't even near the system. The other customers learned that you don't laugh at a Sith Lord's back. - He journeyed to Korriban to seek out the secrets of the Sith, convinced that the Dak Side and the Light Side could be used together to avoid the drawbacks brought by using each side alone... ... in fact, while the Dark Side turns quickly the user into a sadistic evil warlord, the Light Side slowly turns users into apathic, traditionalist fools. He landed on Korriban confident he could succeed. He used the Sith Viper's tail, which could turn into a speeder bike, to explore the planet. It took him years to master the secrets of the Sith. Of course he had to journey often abroad for provisions. During this period, he also met his wife while visiting a market in a nearby system. He said to her that he was only trying out the sensitivity of his new artificial hand, and he maintaind that version for all his life, even if there's no record of Darth Yuri ever losing a limb. He spent most of that period trying without success to use both sides of the Force together, but the only thing he could achieve was to be able to "switch" from one another at will. At length, with his son Fig-Gone Wind he founded the Mixed Force Academy. The MFA had never many students, because the basic requrement was a light-headed personality, which was the only reason why neither side of the Force ever got a firm hold on Darth Yuri in the first place. Sadly, his son was tangled in the Dark Side, and went off on his own, eventually dying in some forgotten duel with the name of Darth Gale. - Years later, Darth Vader tracked him down to Korriban, and went out with 3 heavy gunships to deal with the fallen Jedi who humiliated him. But by that time, Darth Yuri had fortified his position, and deployed a very old, but still functional Droid Carrier to protect the Academy. The only communication he sent was: "I want nothing to do with you, your Emperor, the Sith, the Jedi or whomever you can think of. Leave me alone." It's said this happened shortly after his son had left, hence the bitterness. Vader's squadron was forced to withdraw, and Darth Vader would have shortly returned with greater forces, if some old family issues hadn't finally caught up with him. - Darth Yuri never achieved his goal, he never went beyond the skill of switching sides. Of all his school, only one was capable of using both sides at once, in his time: Kobe-Wan the Force Lord, as he would in later times be known. Eventually, Darth Yuri severed his tie with the Force, in order to, by his words, "live off my waning years untroubled with the future and the far places". He died at 167, for the complications of food poisoning caused by a not-so-fresh bantha pudding. His droid doctor said that there was no trace of regret in his last farewell to life, though the exact words were never divulged. THE END Well, this was a long page, and I hope you took the time to go through it. My next post will be a "special feature" with all the vehicles and stuff used to make this "short" story. Note I love the old trilogy near as much as I despise the new one. A unique universe, full of mistery and wonder, was butchered just to make some cash. Among the things I can't stand, there's Yoda turning from a Zen master with enormous powers and wisdom to a senile Kung-Fu monk, and the fall of the Force which isn't an all-encopassing supreme power anymore, but the byproduct of microscopic parasites (yes, they're parasites. If there are ill side effects it's not symbiosis, it's parasitism). And continuity can go to hell with all the rest. Comments are welcome :)

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