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LIU Atlas - Naves Caelum . There are billions of stars, millions of planets, but there is only one man, Terrance McDoogal. Welcome to LIU Atlas. . LIU Atlas - Naves Caelum The Ludgonian Industrial Union’s galaxy contains billions of stars and planets. Unfortunately, most residents of the LIU could only name a handful of these worlds. In order to improve astronomy grades across the LIU, TV2 has started a new program called LIU Atlas. Follow our host, Terrance McDoogal, as he takes you on a tour across the LIU and some of its more obscure worlds. Note: This episode is presented in full screen. The corresponding dialogue is underneath each photo. Doog: “Welcome to another episode of LIU Atlas. I’m your host, Terrance “Doog” McDoogal. Today, we’re visiting the gas planet Naves Caelum. Naves Caelum’s atmosphere consists primarily of hydrogen and helium, but also contains large amounts of ammonia and methane. Complex, but unintelligent life forms have evolved to utilize these elements just as we utilize oxygen and carbon. It turns out that Naves Caelum’s native life forms are also very tasty, and they are currently being farmed.” Doog: “In order to farm the planet’s native life, the LIU relocated a race of beings known as the Lacertae to Naves Caelum. The Lacertae originate on a planet with a atmosphere similar to Naves Caelum, and they are able to breath on the planet without costly respirators.” Doog: “We’re aboard a special ship, known as a LIU Sky Boat, that is designed to cruise through Naves Caelum’s atmosphere. The ship has two superheated helium tanks to provide buoyancy, and a large sail to capture the planet’s robust winds. The Lacertae use these ships to locate the native creatures.” Doog: “Hello there. I’m Doog. And you are?” Flibnok: “I am Flibnok. Pleasure to make your acquaintance.” Doog: “So, what do you do here?” Flibnok: “My race has been given the task of farming or collecting the native creatures for consumption. We call it sky fishing.” Doog: “Well, shall we get to it?” Doog: “Well, I see you have a harpoon ready. Why don’t we snag one of these little guys here.” Flibnok: “Oh, that’s be a waste of time. These are Columbams. They have little useable meat, and they taste quite disgusting. They like riding our ship’s wake. It allows them to conserve energy while flying. They can be quite the nuisance” Doog: “Yeah, I know the feeling. My crew is always trying to ride in the wake of my fame. They’re always slowing me down.” Flibnok: “Oh. I wasn’t aware of your ‘fame’. I guess it would be similar.” Doog: “So, if we’re not hunting for Columbams, what are we looking for?” Flibnok: “We’re hunting Cybium. Cybium are large bulbous creatures that contains lots of fat, meat, and oils that…” Doog: “Whoa, you’re hunting my ex-girlfriend? Just kidding, please continue.” Flibnok: “These meats and oils are very tasty and are a popular foodstuff in the LIU. Due to the rarity of the Cybium, the food they contain is expensive, and it usually is reserved for those that are more well off.” Doog: “Of course.” Flibnok: “The Cybium have large air bladders that contain helium giving them neutral buoyancy in the atmosphere. They propel their large bodies with four wings.” Doog: “Do they eat the Columbams?” Flibnok: “No. Both the Cybium and the Columbams eat a microscopic organism that is similar to algae. This abundant plant like creature uses chemosynthesis and sunlight to make food.” Doog: “Look! There is one now! Nail him!” Flibnok: “Actually, we’ve already caught our quota for the week. We’ll have to let this one go…for now. I did, however, save some of the meat from our last catch if you’d like to see how it’s processed.” Doog: “I’d rather harpoon this guy, but I guess I’ll settle for leftovers.” Flibnok: “Alright, let’s head home.” Flibnok: “Naves Caelum lacks a habitable surface, so we’ve resorted to living on small floating rocks. These rocks were mined from one of Naves Caelum’s nearby moons. Magnetic repulsors were attached to the bottom of the lightweight rocks allowing the rocks to ride Naves Caelum’s magnetic field lines. This gives the appearance that they are floating.” Flibnok: “Welcome to my humble little home.” Doog: “Gee, it is a bit small. What is it 8 by 10?” Flibnok: “Small, but it contains all we need to survive. Besides, we can’t weigh down the rock too much.” Doog: ‘What’s this orange stuff growing around your house?” Flibnok: “Uh, it’s a pain in my rear. You know those algae-like creatures that I was talking about earlier? Well, it appears they have attached themselves to the surface of our rocks where the sunlight is the strongest. Like the Columbams, the algae appears to be taking advantage of our presence. I spend a few hours a week cutting it back.” Doog: “You know the universe is unfair when you have to mow the grass even though you’re living on a floating rock in the middle of a gas planet. You just can’t win.” Flibnok: “We get our power from the abundant wind in the atmosphere. We use it to power our simple communication array. This array allows us to contact other rocks and to call the LIU when we are ready to unload our haul. Other than that, all we have is this rickety little dock.” Doog: “That‘s more than I have. Well, shall we head inside?” Flibnok: “Sure.” Flibnok: “Like you pointed out, it is pretty small. We have bunk beds, some storage compartments, and meager kitchen accommodations. Unlike humans, we eliminate waste through our skin, so there is no need for waste collection devices.” Doog: “I’m sure you smell great. I’ve never been so happy to have a glass bowl on my head…” Flibnok: “Let’s head inside.” Doog: “It’s a bit cramped. I bet you don’t do much entertaining.” Flibnok: “No, never.” Doog: “Look, maybe your buddy can step outside for a minute. Give us some space?” Flibnok: “Actually, that’s my mate. I’d advise against stirring her when she’s sleeping. You may not like the consequences.” Doog: “Oh, yeah, I’ve made that mistake before. I still have the scars to prove it.” Flibnok: “We process the meat in the basement. If you’ll step outside, I’ll open the trapdoor.” Flibnok: “The basement actually extends into the rock, and it is a little bigger than the main floor. This is our butcher station where we process the Cybium.” Flibnok: “The Cybium’s meat is porous and contains pockets of gas. This makes the meat extremely tender. Of course, it cannot be eaten in this form, at least, by your species. We must grind it down and release all the stored gas.” Flibnok: “After the Cybium meat is ground up, it is formed into wieners.” Doog: “Well, I guess we’ll wrap it up. As a rule of thumb, I never stay long after wieners start popping out.” Flibnok: “That’s a shame. I’d really like for you to taste my wiener.” Doog: “Just stop.” Flibnok: “Maybe I could pack my wiener in your compartment and you can taste it later.” Doog: “Alright, I’m done.” Doog: “Well folks, Naves Caelum is an interesting place. Despite having extremely difficult conditions, the planet supports a rich biosphere and a productive industry. I’ll see ya next time!” Note: Recipe for Meaty Delight: 1lb. of Cybium Wieners 1 gram of Imballic Salt ½ lb. of Piscaturian Dolphin 2 caps of Boletus Mushrooms(non-hallucinogenic) Stir over medium heat. Bake at 600 degrees for 3 minutes. Serve hot. Feeds 2-4.

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