Snake Street . Imagine a vibrant port town, clamoring with the din of hundreds of sailors, merchants, suppliers, urchins, soldiers, and townspeople, and then take one little pier so small it is completely lost in the commotion of the greater city. That is Snake Street. . Darkened city title option
From the builder-
This not my first castle, nor is it my first port town. It is, however, my first anything intended for public eyes, and therefore I squandered my useful pieces trying to get the very best possible construction, completely ignoring the KISS rule. My favorite bit of the model would have to be the SNOT plastering on the white house, which I have by now re-used and improved; and my least favorite part is the harbor floor, a hideous expanse of untreated baseplate. I could go on and on about all of my clever little details and tragic errors, but that would be boring and I, *unlike any other builder on MOCpages* have attached story segments to my creation.
P.S.- I apologize for the back-and-forward picture sizes. Technology defeated me.
Part One of the Great Expedition
Part Two (The Dreadful Fish)
Imagine a vibrant port town, clamoring with the din of hundreds of sailors, merchants, suppliers, urchins, soldiers, and townspeople, and then take one little pier so small it is completely lost in the commotion of the greater city. That is Snake Street, but today it has important visitors: a deceased privateer and an officer of His Majesty's Imperial Advance Scouts (or "Ha-me-uhs" to a rare and exotic few).
"Shall you give them the speech or shall I, Captain Humerus?"
"My pleasure, Captain D'Colore."
"The fortune and honor of Ankoria rides upon this trip, and the best sailor out of a thousand is the only man we will even dream of considering of taking.
"We need steadfast sailors, veterans of the sixteen seas...
"Able-bodied salts ready to risk life and limb for His Majesty...
"Experienced seafarers who have sailed a ship blindfolded...
"And fearless men who will be nothing but a credit to His Majesty's navy. Anyone bearing the slightest doubt that he exceeds every one of my expectations had better clear out before I lay my eyes on his sorry face."
"Blast it. I hoped that would thin the crowd somewhat."
"If a scary poster would hire a crew, we wouldn’t be here, would we?”
"Bob son-of-Olaf-son-of-Lief-son-of-Harold-son-of... Sorry, sir."
"Experience at sea?"
"Captured a Troll ship once. Stayed afloat for three days."
"Samuel Jimson tried to have a barbecue on deck, sir."
"Why should we take you?"
"Easy, sir. I'm well-known as the best dwarf sailor ever to mine the waves."
"Richard of Stableton."
"Experience at sea?"
"King Leo's Naval Artillery, rank of Sergeant. I faced the enemy in sixteen distinct battles and never lost face."
“Ah, you have me there, sir. There was that face-off with a fireball from the Dark Fortress that rather defaced my features, but my head still bears half of the thing when you add up the bits.” ť
"Why should we take you?"
"I might have one arm, but I can still whip any old ship into shape."
"Ginna Smith, sir. I mean, guv, sir. Lived in Snake Street all my life, so I know anything and everything about ships you could care to kn- wot of."
"Able seaman, are you?"
"Name? Oh, by the bones of my father..."
"They're walkin' here 'bout somewhere, guv. I am the Lord High Mayor Tim, and this 'ere fellow toff is my ack-waintance, the Roit Honer'ble Duke Bill. As for the purposement behind why such fine fellows as ourselves might deign to hoffer hower services-"
Humerus- “And to this mute pile of calcium compounds with a spark of random energy, I say the same! The only corpses on my ship are the professionally-resurrected kind.”
D’Colore- “Easy, Humerus. What about you, sir? You look a sailor’s part.”
Higgins- “Aye, governor, the capt— skipper and I have had years above the briny deeps, smuggling rum about the coast. The skipper knows every trick in the book.”
Humerus- “Hold on, there’s no tax on rum!”
D’Byinsport- “Ah, my dear sir, that is where the talent comes in. You may be acquainted with every zephyr, current, and landing in the Northern Seas, but to make a profit you need true wit. Captain Aloysius d’Byinsport, at your service.”
Humerus- “Fine words, but if your wit is as sharp as you say, you wouldn’t need to sign on with us.”
D’Byinsport- “Of course your words would ring of truth in normal circumstances, Captain, but Higgins and I have elected to temporarily settle down from our lives of merchantmen and lend our talent to a vessel whose destination, we hear, is rather interested in the possibilities of the gold exportation trade.”
Humerus- “Hah! Simple speculators.”
D’Colore- “But poorly-informed ones. What is your pitch, sir?”
Vagabond- “You got good pay, I got hands. What else is there too it?”
Humerus- “Any nautical experience?”
Vagabond- “Yeah, I been on twenty, maybe fifty ships in my day. Good three, maybe twelve years before the mast. Never was too good with numbers.”
D’Colore- “Eh… Thank you, sir, we will weigh your application with discernment. Moving on, Humerus…”
Carter- “Carter, sirs, John Carter. I’m a carpenter. Twelve years as apprentice and journeyman fifteen miles from here in beautiful Pigslot and never had a complaint, and I’m here in Dryton to ply my skills at sea. Don’t ask much sirs, except a roof, regular meals, and whatever pay you can afford.”
D’Colore- “Carter, do I understand that you’re asking to be a ship’s carpenter, yet you have never set foot on a ship?”
Carter- “Hm? Oh, no! Barges, sir, pass through B- Pigslot every day, dozens of them. All of them need work. And the drydocks. I spent a good time over in Aridport building merchant ships, six months, now that I think of it. Trust me, sirs, I know how to put a boat – ship - together.”
Humerus- “Hold now! Did no one hear my rant? Forgive me, sir, but I asked for able-bodied seamen specifically, and you don’t look the part!”
Knife- “Sorry? I’m a bit deaf in this ear, lad, you’ll have to speak up.”
D’Colore- “He said, ‘Perhaps you should consider retirement,’ sir!”
Knife- “Pardon? Oh, I see now, you thought I wished to join your crew. I’m here for a… friend… of mine. I’m Courtney Woodcutter.”
Humerus- “What? Not old Courtney “The Knife” Woodcutter, the best carver of figureheads in all Ankoria? Why, the shipwrights of Talonjay were in envy of you!”
Knife- “Yes, you know me precisely, although I’m sure you exaggerate in your account, Captain…?”
Humerus- “Humerus! Or, as I used to be called, Henry Peach. I had one of your pieces atop my very first vessel, a magnificent black dragon.”
Knife- “That would have been the Splinter! I remember that magnificent beast as if it were yesterday. I put a pipe through the head so that it could blow fire, do you remember that? Oh, but I digress; down to business.”
D’Colore- “Your friend?”
Knife- “That’s how I put it, yes. It’s an old figurehead of mine, salvaged from the Courier when it hit the rocks east of town. I would like you to attach it to your warship.”
D’Colore- “Mr. Woodcutter, I appreciate your offer, but our ship is already under construction. We have no need—“
Humerus- “Nonsense! A ‘Knife’ prow-piece would be an honor. We can give you a hundred crowns for it.”
D’Colore- “A hun— Very well, Humerus, you’re the captain. If you give me an address, Mr. Woodcutter, I shall send one of my men to examine the statue this evening.”
Some time later…
D’Colore- “Hear ye, hear ye! The captains have made their decision.”
Humerus- “Right. Everyone standing on this pier is hired, with the exception of you …”
Vagabond mutters angrily
Humerus- “…and Mr. Woodcutter. And before you start cheering yourselves, pay attention: The entire crew will meet at the southern gates of the city at dawn tomorrow to leave for basic training. Bring enough food for a hard day’s march, and whatever you will need to clothe and clean your sorry bodies for another month.”
Groans from crowd
End of Part I
Any sightly feature of the feature not featured in the feature presentations is featured here. Enjoy!
Trolls, Part 2-ish
Continued from Part 1-ish.
“Alms! Gimme yer pennies!”
Grik- “Ten days we been in this awful town, and we’re no closer to finding Rosta than we were when we started.”
Stavenger- “There’s nothing you can do about it, so you might as well bear your sufferings in silence. Willy should be in the castle by now.”
Grik- “Huh. That ratty bloke couldn’t find his way into a bar.”
Stavenger- “Shut up. Here’s the ship.”
Grik- “A festering little two-master?”
Stavenger- “But it’s fast, and well armed. It suits our purposes perfectly.”
Grik- “Let’s just hope the captain is better than his tub.”
Tibrant- “Tired of your quarters, troll-hag?”
Tibrant- “We can make a deal, you know. I don’t like keeping you here, and you don’t like being kept here. Just give in and speak, by all that is holy!”
Tibrant- “Just checking. I’m leaving for a week to prepare for my summer journey to the capital. Perhaps you will feel more amenable by then. *Vent closes*”
Willy- “Beautiful place, this. Oh…”
Willy- “My Lord Orlan, it is good to see you wherever we meet. Might I say your beard is looking particularly godly today?”
Willy- “What’s that?”
Willy- “Nothing for it… Pardon me, my Lord.”
Walter- “Good morning, Mayor!”
Tibrant- “And to you, Lord Walter. I can’t talk; council meeting right ahead.”
Walter- “You make haste for something like that? Verily, Tibrant, there’s no rush. Tell me how your ‘business venture’ is going.”
Tibrant- “*sighs* Not as well as I would hope. My… guest… won’t even speak. I just came from making another offer, but I might have been chatting with a stone. All I want is to bring a bit of commerce to my city and people look at me like the tax collector. You know how it is.”
Walter- “No? And what’s wrong with talking to stones?”
Tibrant- “Honestly, Walter, sometimes I think humans have more in common with the trolls than with you dwarves. Now, I really must hurry.”
Willy- “That simplifies matters.”
Clerk- “Carry the one, and…”
Grik- “Shove off! I’m coming through.”
Clerk- “Five and seven…”
Stavenger- “Grik! You can’t just barge onto somebody’s vessel. You have to ask for permission first, like this:”
Stavenger- “Ahoy there, captain! Permission to come aboard?”
Vintner- “Bloody landlubbers. Permission granted, mateys! Step up the plank, avast by the capstan, and don’t forget to jib the topsail, while you’re at it.”
Grik- “Hur, hur, hur.”
Willy- “Oh be-autiful Ros-ta, how bright is your hair…”
Rosta- “Willy! It’s about time you got here. Where—?”
Willy- “Can’t hang around, red-eyes. It’s dangerous to go alone; take this.”
Rosta- “That’s more like it. Goodbye, Squeak.”
Willy- “Well, that was easier done than said.”
Guard- “Hey! State your business, troll!”
Willy- “Pardon? Oh, I’m on my way back from robbing the treasury and murdering the mayor’s wife. Nothing much, really.”
Guard- “That sounds a little too honest for my liking. Guards!”
Willy- “Is it that time already? I’ve got to run!”
Willy- “Ha! The guards outside haven’t heard a thing.”
Willy- “If I just shed my cloak and put on a wig—,”
Willy- “I become the honest Greg, preacher of the Code and invisible bystander! Maybe I should stop talking to myself, too.”
Stavenger- “You’ll do it, Captain? Take us all the way to Thrigskap?”
Vintner- “Aye, and follow your orders on any matters of direction or policy, for the very low price of two thousand Ankorian crowns delivered on arrival.”
Grik- “Aar! I be no diplomat, but that’s a ratty price!”
Stavenger- “Silence, Grik. I can accept your terms, but as you are a countryman and a patriot I should have expected better.”
Vintner- “My cargo will be late, and that costs money. Besides, and no offense to your cause, but the kingship of the Isles shifts so much that a good deed today is a hanging crime tomorrow.”
Greg- “Repent, criminals and smugglers, for the word of Orlan is at hand! Strong are the bonds between king and townsman, and he who breaks these chains faces the wrath of the Sword!”
Stavenger- “Willy, it’s good to see you. Did you find what you were after?”
Greg/Willy- “Indeed. The package is ready for pickup.”
Vintner- “What package?”
Stavenger- “Nothing major. It’s only something to decide the fate of a kingdom. Where do we get it, Willy?”
Willy- “Easy enough. Follow me.”
Soldier A- “Stop right there!”
Rosta- “You’ll never take me alive!”
Soldier A- “Wow… She was dramatic.”
Soldier B- “Watch out! I think she meant we won’t be alive, not her!”
Grik- “Follow him? No, he meant you two go ahead, I’ll wait here. All you have to do is storm a blooming castle….”
Rosta- “Here we go…”
Vintner- “Hey, Preacher, they’re going for the ship!”
End Part 1
To be continued…?
And Wilbert Despathen's Ogel Scooter!