Shannonia expanded - part 3 . Somewhere on the fun scale between Las Vegas, Nevada and Las Vegas, New Mexico. . Yes! I can see the light at the end of the tunnel, so let's get on with it...
Of the four new modules, this one has the most buildings, and was the hardest to make crazy captions for. Appreciate my effort. APPRECIATE IT, I SAY! I work and I slave for you kids, and never a word of thanks...
Go road-tripping across America, and you will come across many roadside establishments advertising the "world's biggest burger," or something similar. With the quiet confidence of the truly secure, Bigg's makes no such claim. Just bring a few dozen friends and order the Herdburger -- two entire cows go into each one.
Canary Plaza Suites. If Shannonia grows large enough, I'll end up self-plagiarizing every damn MOC I've ever made.
Speaking of which, here's Doctor Jones's Dreamfruit Den. No, not Indy -- this guy's even cooler. While Shannonians take a dim view of the medical industry in general, any doc who's down with the dreamfruit is all right in our book. (Now accepting Canadian currency only, not that worthless American stuff.)
Cities need trees. Trees do not feel the same way about cities.
Hallowed Hill, venerated by the natives as a sacred site of great spiritual power since time immemorial. So naturally the first thing white men did when they landed on these shores was to desecrate it by blasting a tunnel right through the heart of it.
Actually, the first thing they did was buy all the natives’ land for dirt cheap. The natives had wanted three cases of whiskey for the land that would become Shannonia, but all Whitey ended up giving them was a case of smallpox. Shrewd business deals like this are one of the reasons white men are universally respected and admired the world over.
Adelle Memorial Mental Hospital. Named after the kind saint who is trying to cure the Mayor. Unfortunately, he was probably too far gone already by the time she started treatment.
The Office of Imagination, otherwise known as the Shannonia zoning board. When a new building is erected in Shannonia, the Mayor and city council meet here to determine what it will be called and what its function will be. They don't always hit a bullseye, but as the Mayor likes to say, "Even our lamest captions are better than 95 percent of the Star Wars or Halo crap you could be looking at. GO IMAGINATION!"
Grounded briefly after that unfortunate naked drunken pilot scandal, the helicopter tour is now back in business.
The Mayor’s Mansion... or is it the posh riverside home of The Skunk Works CEO? They get mistaken for each other a lot. Come to think of it, they’ve never been seen in the same place at the same time.
Minoan Temple. The Minoans preach a return to living in harmony with Mother Nature, and a return to a matriarchal society. Key tenet of the Minoan faith: men have been in charge now for at least the past 10,000 years, and look at the mess they’ve made of things. Once again, it's up to the women to clean up after them.
This is one of my favorite buildings in the whole city, and I have absolutely no idea what it is. Not a clue. I’ve been looking at this thing every day for a couple months now, waiting for it to reveal its true nature to me, and nothing. Wait, you know what? Never mind. In the process of writing that last sentence, it came to me. We’ll just call it the Temple of Infinite Mystery, and move on.
When unlucky divers get scooped up in those huge buckets that helicopters use to combat forest fires on Hallowed Hill, something like this is one of the last things they see.
Shannonia Opera House, home of the Shannonia Shakespeare Company and the Shannonia Symphony Orchestra. The only “opera” ever to be performed here was Tommy. And that was just the Mayor playing the album over the P.A. system.
The offices of S.A.N.E., Shannonians Against Nearly Everything. There's a lot to hate in this world, and the tireless complainers of S.A.N.E. will make sure you hear all about it.
Hallowed Hill Ranger Station. We don’t know how these rumors get started, but the Ranger Station is not, we repeat, NOT haunted. Just because it was built on the site of the burial ground for the natives’ holy men, and just because those old bones were dug up, ground up, and sold to the local dog food factory, and just because every single park ranger ever posted there ended up going crazy and murdering his family, people want to put two and two together and get four. Superstitious fools.
Can anyone guess what my favorite Lego piece in the whole world is?
Khan deMint's Sauce Emporium. Only the finest gourmet ketchups and mustards from around the world. For every $50 you spend, you get a free hot dog.
On the left -- the Museum of Bad Master Chiefs and Other Terrible Halo MOCs. On the right -- the Gallery of Endless Boring Derivative Star Wars MOCs. I think the Office of Imagination was on a paid holiday when these buildings went up. Members of S.A.N.E. have been picketing them since they opened.
Shrine of the Fallen. A feel-good tax-money pit created by P.C. nazis to honor the extinct natives of yore. Like they ever did anything to merit something like this -- couldn’t even handle a little smallpox...
Three down, one to go. Now get out of here, I don't want to keep you from your perusal of blurry custom Star Wars minifigs and multicolored Halo vehicles.