Shannonia expands: Dome Hill District . Won't you take me to... Funkytown... Won't you take me to... Funkytown . "It was like Mardi Gras, the Fourth of July, and New Year's all rolled into one, every night," was how it was described in its heyday. But after the horrors of the Great Monkey Riots, the historic Dome Hill district never recovered its former flair as the nightclubs and dancehalls fled to other neighborhoods to rebuild.
Billy's Billiards. The original Billy's was burned to the ground in the Great Monkey Riots. Anyone who was ever there in the old days agrees that this pool hall of the same name, in the same location, just ain't the same.
North Beach Arms. This historic brownstone was the only building in the Dome Hill District to survive the Great Monkey Riots... a grim and terrible chapter in Shannonian history if there ever was one.
North Shore Grill. Try not to choke when the bill comes.
The Dome Hill district gets its name not from the fact that it's located in the shadow of that rounded knob of land over there, also named Dome Hill -- no, it came by its name in a completely different way. It's just one of those crazy coincidences. The story of how the name really originated is a complex and completely engrossing one, which we unfortunately don't have time for right now.
Dome Hill Historical Society. The place where the bluehair set likes to hang out, and third-graders don't like to come on field trips.
Shannonia's never actually been in a war with anybody, but we thought we'd erect a triumphal arch anyway, because we know we'd totally kick anyone's ass who tried messing with us.
Ivory Tower Condominiums. What do you mean, things are going to hell in a handbasket? Everything looks fine from up here. Yessir, just dandy.
Like most rioting citizens, the monkeys damaged their own neighborhood worst, not the property of those their anger was directed against. To add insult to injury, the city council razed the remains of Monkeytown, as their little sub-district was known, and erected a triumphal arch on the spot. To this day monkeys refuse to go through the arch, they always go around. And usually fling poop at it.
Woundwort's Juice Bar. It's a very popular Shannonian franchise, they're starting to pop up everywhere.
Bananas, old-fashioned monkey-pulled rickshaws. The only way to see Shannonia. Or it was, before the riots. The business remains a flashpoint for anger in the monkey community to this day.
The Chamber of Commerce tried their darnedest to get The Rhythm Method to headline this year's Arch Park free concert for Shannonia's Pioneer Days celebration, but it was not to be. The band had already been booked on the same date for the Jewel Lake Benefit Concert, raising money to rebuild a shattered Luseville.
Better stop by Trendie's. Because your clothes are old enough that people laugh behind your back, but not old enough to have come back into style again.
The Great Monkey Riots Museum. We must never, ever, forget.
Tidepools. Now a gift shop tourist trap, but like everything else in the Dome Hill district, it stands on the site of what the old-timers will assure you was a much better establishment.
Next time I think we'll see a little nature. This downtown stuff wears on you after a while. What do you say we head to the lakes?